Interview with Carol Lynn Pearson: Running the Church vs. seeing the damage
Photo from CarolLynnPearson.com
On October 18, 2022, Marci McPhee and Kathleen Cramer interviewed Carol Lynn Pearson, drinking deeply of her wisdom and experience, generously shared. Here is a short excerpt from that interview. Part 1 of 2.
Carol Lynn: One of the little philosophies that I like is a statement by a spiritual teacher named Byron Katie. She says that all the things in front of you that you need to handle are in three categories: your business, the other person's business, and God's business. In terms of LGBTQ people, it is the Brethren's business to run the Church. That is not my business to say to the leaders, “This is what you should do.” Whatever God's business is, we just have to assume that somehow God weeps the same way that we do. But my business (and I'm very clear on this): my business is to make certain that everybody that I know and that every one of the General Authorities understands the damage that is being done on this subject. That was my business and I did it.
The Church has made major missteps with Blacks and the priesthood/temple ban as well as the position of women in the Church. The Church is changing in those areas, not fast enough and not deep enough, but there is change. The LGBTQ issue is another level. We can’t compare pain, and damage is damage, but even in the worst years you didn’t see Blacks and women dying by suicide over harmful Church policies. The cost of the Church’s LGBTQ policies has been astronomical.
Marci: One thing that helps me extend grace to our leaders is looking at myself. I see the damage that my children's childhood did to them. It wasn't their choice and it wasn't their fault. (They turned out to be fantastic adults, despite it all.) I give myself grace for it, and I did the best I could at the time, but in my sphere of influence, I see the harm that I did, being in a position of power over innocent people in my own family.
I realize that Church leaders just have a bigger family. I can sadly hope for grace in my own life, and extend grace to my leaders while they keep trying to get it right. I sustain Church leaders and policy – that’s the Brethren’s business – but like you, Carol Lynn, I just raise my voice to make sure that others see what I see. That’s my business.
Carol Lynn: I know every one of us could have done better here and here and here and here and here. While that is all true, I think when we become enlightened and aware, then we begin to correct those mistakes by speaking out, by being loud. For those who, at least to our own observation, are not sufficiently enlightened on these things that destroy human beings, we have to have generosity and at the same time be relentless. We are speaking out and speaking up.
My song “I'll Walk With You” (Children’s Songbook, 140) may be one reason the Brethren might not want to excommunicate me. Then they would have to cut that out of the next songbook. That would outrage a few million members.
Something that helps me is to rise up in what I call my spiritual helicopter and look down at history. I see where we have come from the past, where we are right at this moment, and the future that is yet to be created. When we focus on the past, we can spend all our lives criticizing. “Why didn't they know better than to burn the witches? They should have known better.” But somehow that was a historical phenomenon; it was where their consciousness was at that time, which is just deplorable because we are indeed more enlightened. Rather than just curse the past, we must focus on this moment right now, from which the future will come.
Also see “Yesterday’s heresy is today’s orthodoxy,” about the Church catching up to Carol Lynn’s vision.